(May 2024 update—this blog was previously in draft mode)

This week, Elizabeth, a neighbor from my youth, reached out to me to inform me of the passing of her mother, and her desire to contact my father to tell him the news. We exchanged messages and I felt a common bond with her as this week marked the passing of my mother 23 years ago.

“She was a strong force,” Elizabeth said about my mother.

When someone I know experiences a recent loss of a parent, I reflect back to my journey over the 23 years and think of it differently now than I had before.

No, she is a strong force.

I’m the carrier of her traits, her language, her mannerisms. This week I said, “you snooze you lose”, “get over it”, and “can’t get fat on a green bean” channeled from my inner Shirley.

My sons never met her. One asked today what she was like. An easy question, a complicated answer. She taught me to be self-reliant, gave me independence, and she loved me.

It was different then. We didn’t have constant contact about my whereabouts (just come home when the streetlights come on) or intervention when a neighbor kid pushed me down (you’ll get over it) or pay for that broken window at the school when I hit that home run (you will go into the principal’s office tomorrow and fess up).

But I think that was better in many ways. Life lessons that influence you, that you pass on in some way in your own life’s journey to those that you love.

Miss you mom.